My Time with the Akatsuki: Rewritten
by kittyqueen101
Summary: Im just sittin at my house and then-WHAM-next thing i know i'm kidnapped by some blond idiot and a black haired lump. Not being written anymore.
1. The lump and the blond idiot

Ch. 1

I was sitting at home reading a book like I normally do and then I heard a noise like the door opening so I grabbed my bag (I was planning on asking my mom if I could sleep outside to draw the stars as I often do) and so I went down to say hi to my mom and BAM something hits me in the head.

Hard enough to knock me out.

And that's saying something because I have all boy cousins and I am hard to knock out.

When I wake up I feel like I'm moving and I open my eyes to see if I can see what took me out.

All I see is black cloak with some red and white.

Then I ask my captors "Who the hell is carrying me?"

The only response I get is not even talking to me.

"Hey she's awake, un. What should I do? Knock her out again?"

And I say to this person" Yeah I'm awake. Why the fuck are you carrying me??"

Then the idiot said "Sasori do you know what on earth she's talking about, hmm?"

Suddenly I realize that somehow I'm in actual danger and that makes me faint and I never faint… it might have something to do with the fact that I'm thinking so fast that I'm confusing myself.

And I'm hyperventilating.

When I wake up again me, the idiot, and this so called "Sasori" person are stopped sitting around a fire.

Oh and my hands are bound.

Great just what I need, a idiot/kidnapper and a person who is a lump, to come kidnap me.

Wonderful, just wonderful.

Right now I am thinking about what to say so I don't get knocked out again.

Then I decide it would be best to see what those two are talking about.

"Sasori, why are we kidnapping this girl again? It just doesn't make sense to me. She is just an ordinary girl."

The other person… Sasori replies "I don't know, all I know is that she is important because leader-sama told us to get her and not to get the tailed-beast. I wonder if she has a special ability that we don't know of?" he said looking at me.

I decide to talk, acting like I just woke up.

"Where are you taking me?" I say knowing that the probably won't tell me.

The blond idiot replies "To our base, hmm."

Wow I got an answer, wasn't a good answer, but it was answer all the same. "Okay, Question! Why did you guys kidnap me? And are you going to knock me out again?"

There I've asked the two questions I wanted to ask.

"What do think Sasori? Should we knock her out again, hmm?" the blond asked his friend.

Suddenly I realized that I was actually danger and WAS being kidnapped because the blond had pulled out a fuckin kunai.

"Well Deidara I think that we shouldn't because then when we arrive at the base she'll be knock out. Do you agree?" the black-haired lump asked, looking from me to the blond idiot.

"Yeah, your right, un. We should get leaving though, so leader-sama doesn't get mad, hmm." Deidara replied, starting to pack up his stuff, which amounted to a spare cloak, a bed roll, some food, a couple of bags, and some clay.

Talk about light packers.

"I agree." Sasori replied, packing up his spare cloak.

I know this has to be just about one of the stupidest questions to ask but I asked it.

"What should I do?" I asked uncertainly.

The blond replied "Follow us," and picked up the little bit of access rope in front of my hands.

Then we start walking toward the rising sun.

Wow that was cheesy, I thought dryly.

"So," I say, trying to start up a conversation," Where are we?"

Deidara says "She talks a lot more than a person on the brink of death, doesn't she, un?"

"Yeah, well she's very much alive." The lump called Sasori replies, sounding very untalkative and annoyed.

Well I better shut up.

This is not a good time to thin- OMG a guy with an orange swirly mask is running, no make that sprinting, toward us.

"Deidara and Sasori brought a new friend!!!!!" swirly boy shouted.

"Tobi, Shut Up And Go AWAY!!!" the blond yelled.

"But leader-sama sent Tobi to get the new girl" Tobi said, "Tobi could tell leader that you didn't give her to me to take to him."

"Okay, fine, here, hmm." The blonde said quickly.

"Yah, follow Tobi, Deidara and Sasori, because leader wants to see you guys too." Tobi said looking completely thrilled.

"Why are we needed?" the Sasori asked.

"Tobi doesn't know, Tobi is just doing what leader-sama says to do." He chirped.

Wow, these people are idiots, well maybe not the lump but the other two, yes.

I can't help but think that I may not be in harm's way, considering the way they talked about me earlier.

"Umm, can I say something?" I ask unsure.

Tobi responses immediately "What is it?"

"Can I have some food, or water or something? Please?" I ask as nicely as I could.

Tobi looks at the other two "Didn't you feed her?" he asks, looking oddly at them.

"No" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Tobi will make you grilled cheese well you're in with leader-sama, ok?" he says, sounding very hyper.

I respond the moment after he asked"YES, please."

Deidara looks from me to Tobi and back to me shaking his head.

"Well we'll go see leader-sama, ok?" the lump asked.

"Ok, Tobi will go make food for… What's her name?" he asked.

Deidara replied "I don't know nor do I care, hmm. Come on Sasori lets take her to leader-sama, un."

And he started down the hall way the lump following him, the lump now dragging me a long.

Then I decide to ask this leader person why the hell he wants with me.

We walk in to the room and I see this orange haired person with lots and lots of piercings. I was tempted to say 'Someone went crazy with the piercing gun'.

Instead I say "Why do you want me? Why did you make these people kidnap me?"

"Here she is leader-sama, un." Deidara says, totally ignoring me, might I add .

Mr. Piercing says "Welcome to the Akatsuki. Where's Tobi?"

Deidara replies "Well we forgot to feed her so Tobi making her food, hmm."

"Mr. Piercing, Sir, umm what's your name?" I ask.

Everybody looks at me like I just asked to shoot him.

"My name is irrelevant, but you will call me Leader-sama." he replies.

So that was that.

And then Hidan and Kakuzu come in and I start laughing.

And everyone is looking at me like I'm insane and then they look at Hidan and Kakuzu and smirk.

Hidan says" Not a god damn fucking word, Got it?"

Kakuzu is just shaking his head and looking very unhappy, even pissed.

"So," Kakuzu starts, "is this the girl that you two had to go get?"

"Does Every Fucking One Know Why I'm Here But Me??!!" I exclaim now pissed off.

"Kakuzu give me the briefcase then leave." Leader-sama said.

"Yes leader-sama" Kakuzu replies walking over and setting the briefcase on leader-sama's desk.

"Nice hair cut Hidan." The blond says.

Oh by the way why I laughed is because Hidan's hair is pretty much a buzz cut.

"Hidan, GET OUT." Leader-sama says.

"So, Sir Leader Sir, why am I here? I'm just another random girl."

I stared to him.

He raised his eyebrow at the Sir Leader Sir's comment but otherwise he just was just listening and then he replied "I think that you have a good chance of becoming a good ninja."

"So let me get this straight you kidnapped me because it looked like I had good chance of being a good ninja."

"Yes." he replied coldly, "Sasori take her to the kitchen so Tobi can feed her."

"Yes leader-sama." The lump replied.

Then I asked the lump "Are you really that deformed or are you just that stupid enough to walk around like that all day?"

It just looks at me and shoves me into the kitchen and then waddles away.

Tobi runs up and says "What's your name????"

"Umm, it's Koya." I say.

"Oh, Koya has a pretty name. Tobi is done with Koya's grilled cheese." he said.

"WHERE IS MY FOOD??" I screeched at him.

He looks confused and says "On the table."

I lunged into the kitchen and since as I had my hands tied I still had my bag on.

I pulled out a knife to cut the rope and then I stopped and I realized that I had a knife.

I cut the rope and then shoved the knife back in my bag, hoping no one had seen it.

After I cut the rope I wolfed the heavenly thing called grilled cheese. Well seen as I hadn't eaten in pretty much a day all food would seem heavenly.


	2. GOOD MORNING!

Ch. 2

"GOOD MORNING" yelled someone, right in my face.

I didn't realize who he was or where I was so I reacted and punched him in the gut. Hard.

Oh and the reason why I didn't punch the person in the face is because I realized he was wearing a mask. And the mask looks hard and I didn't want to find out if it was. And then it clicks that I punched Tobi.

I look at him with horror, how could I have punched him? He's the only one that has been nice to me so far!

"Umm, Tobi are you ok?" I asked hoping he was.

"Tobi's gut hurts." he said obviously in pain.

"Umm, I'll take you to see the doctor person thing here." I said.

For the first time I look around the room.

"Thanks Koya-kun." Tobi said.

"Soo, who's the doc around here?"

"Kakuzu is"

"Ok I'll take you there" I say and then pick up Tobi and look at the doors on the outside for name tags or something. Which, lucky for me, there are.

I walk along reading the doors and when I get to the one that says KAKUZA with HIDAN right below it. I stop. I whap on the door with my head and the door opens up.

"What the hell did you do to Tobi?" the silver haired guy asked, and it looks like he has fresh stitches around his neck, umm, what?

"Are you Kakuzu?" I ask, hoping to dear god he isn't.

"That old fag? Hell no, I'm Hidan." he said.

"Ok where's Kakuzu?" I ask wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

"Hey, Kakuzu the new girl is here and she's here with Tobi." Hidan yelled to the person inside, and then said to me "Come on in."

Then who I assume is Kakuzu walks toward me. He is extremely tall wearing a black mask and fully dressed.

"Where should I put him?" I wondered aloud.

"On the floor." Mr. Mask said. "What happen to him?" He asked me, noticing I'm still in my PJ's.

"He woke me up and he scared me and I didn't know where I and who he was so I punched him in the gut." I said sheepishly.

Kakuzu just looks at me like I'm insane.

"What?" I demand.

He just shakes his head, "Go back to your room he'll be fine, you didn't have to bring him here, it's not like he was stabbed with a kunai."

Well that's good I think as I walk back to my room. And then I changed into the best fighting clothes I had.

It ended up being a pair of nice, comfortable jeans and a baggy t-shirt.

I wish I had known that I was going to be taken by these people because then I would have known to pack the ninjaish clothes I have at my house.

But then again I probably would I have thought the person was crazy. I mean seriously a person walks up and says something like 'You will be kidnapped by a group of S-ranked criminals. BEWARE!!!' yeah, not to convincing.

So then I come out wondering where to go because there is no instructions on what to do when you get up so I decide to go and see Tobi. Again.

And the silver haired person named Hidan opened the door and asked "Why the hell are you here again?!!"

"Umm, To ask where Tobi is?" Yep intelligent me, answer his question with a question.

"So," I say trying to ignore the fact the he was looking at me like I was an idiot, "is Tobi still here?"

"No, Kakuzu kicked him out right after you left. He probably is in his room."

Oh well that's good, I thought as I wander around looking for Tobi's room.

As I'm walking I notice my door has OROCHIMARU on it.

I can't find it so I go and knock on the door that says ZETZU and pray to dear god that this person doesn't put a kunai through my head.

The person named Zetzu answers the door.

"What do-**Who the hell are you?**" this strange person asked, me wondering why he is black and white.

"My name is Koya", I said, "I am trying to find Tobi's room."

"Well that's convenient, we share a room. **Yeah, that annoying fu**- Don't swear. **Fine that annoying boy kept us up half the night.**" The plant man replied.

"Oh, how is he?" I asked, hoping I hadn't hurt him to bad.

"Oh he's fine-**Why do you want to know?"** the black side demanded.

"Um, I kind of punched him in the gut this morning." I said sheepishly.

Was I going have to tell everyone here that?

"Why did you do that?" Zetzu asked, "I know he's annoying but most people don't punch him."

"He woke me up by yelling 'good morning' in my face."

"**HA that loser deserved it!!! **No he didn't" Zetzu said, arguing more with himself then me.

"Umm, how is he?" I ask.

"Oh, he's not here, he's making breakfast for everyone."

"You mean he is the only one who cooks here?" I ask surprised.

"No, Uchiha cooks too. ** Yeah he's girly some times, other times he's scary as fuck." **said the plant man.

"Wow the things you learn about S-rank criminals." I said awestruck that someone cooks.

"You're telling me? I live with the guy and I'll never know how he can be a deadly killer if cooks such good food." Zetzu said, "Maybe it's because he likes killing the meat."

This day can't get any weirder. I walk into the kitchen and smell a wonderful sent.

"What are you people cookin?" I ask the chefs as I walk in.

The guy with black hair just keeps cooking. "Out." He says. I look at him oddly. "I just wanted to help you two cook.

He glares at me. "I'm fine." He says sounding pissed.

"Leaving, leaving." I say as I leave. I walk outside and notice that everyone is outside training. Whoa, didn't know that.


	3. deadness and toasters

Yeah… this story is officially dead so….

Here is a little exert/ what I had written before I changed it so there may be some repetitiveness …

ENJOY!

The next morning I woke up to the smell of smoke. I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to see an abandoned piece of food, smoking, and on fire in the microwave.

Then Diedara walked in, gasped and ran over to the microwave pulling out the food, looking at it, then throwing it away. Then he realized that he had broke the microwave and when white.

"Aw shit. Kakuzu is going to kill me." And then, right on cue, Kakuzu walked in and Diedara took one look at him, shrieked, and ran out. Kakuzu looked confused, looked at the microwave, then stormed out yelling at Diedara

I walked out laughing after grabbing a bowl of cereal.

After I ate my cereal in my room I got up, got dressed, looked around, and decided to ask if I could clear out all this shit.

I started to look around for someone who I could ask if I could throw the crap out. After looking around I came upon the door that I was first brought to I stared at it.

"Do I really want to ask him?" I muttered to myself. Then I saw some blue go past at the other end of the hall way. I quickly turned and looked. All I saw was a foot disappearing behind the corner.

I ran to see what it was and ran straight in to a giant blue man.

I looked at him and prayed that he wouldn't kill me.

He looked down at me. "Are you lost?" he said, as if trying to figure why I'd be here.

"Ummm, Actually I was looking for someone to see if it was okay that I threw all the crap that was in my room out because it's really starting to freak me out the I got lost, saw you, kinda, thought you were someone else; and now that I look around, yes, I am lost." I babbled hoping he wouldn't think I was an idiot.

"I'll show you back to your room." He said.

"Umm, what's your name?" I ask, not sure what to think of him yet.

Then he suddenly starts laughing, not the evil MUAHAHA laugh, but a real laugh. He looks at me.

"You keep looking at me like I'm going to eat you!" he says still laughing.

I turn red. "It's not my fault! You're a fucking giant! "I yell embarrassed.

He looks at me "Don't worry; I'm not going to hurt you."

All of a sudden a light goes on in m head. "What's your name?" I ask realizing I didn't know it.

"Kisame." He says with a grin,"What's yours?"

"Koya" I say simply. I look around. "HEY! I know my way from here! Thanks!" I say happily. Then I realized that I never asked anyone if I could throw the crap out. I spin around. "Can I throw the crap in the room I'm in out?" I ask.

"Does it say 'Orochimaru' on it?" he asks.

"Yes..." I say unsure whether that was good or bad.

"Yep, you can. That guy left the organization a loooong time ago." He said smiling.

I race back to my room to clean it out.

After about a half hour Tobi came out and starts talking very quickly about nothing.

"Tobi, Tobi, TOBI," I yell snapping my fingers in front of his face.

"What?" he chirped back.

"Can you please, and I mean this as nicely as possible, SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME CLEAN!" I yelled very angry and annoyed that he had interrupted the cleaning of the crap.

"Okay" he said as he walked back to the base, well technically he skipped.

"You can't get anything done around here can you?" I muttered to myself under my breath.

After a few more hours of cleaning, I went outside to throw some potted dead crap in the woods. I look over and see two people leaving with their cloaks and everything on, considering how tall one of them is, probably Kazuka and maybe his partner.

I scream at the top of my lungs " YES THE SLIMYNESS IS GONE!" and start doing a jig, because my room was clean finally.

Then I look over and see the silver haired guy running at me. WITH A SYCTH!  
"OH FUCKING SHIT!" I scream and sprit toward the closest building, an odd pace with something written on the door that, in my haste, I couldn't make out.

As I sprint down the steep stair I hear the guy fall. When I get to the bottom of the stairs I almost run into red haired person looking at me.

"Hi," I say, slightly out of breath, "Is there any other way out of here?"

"No."

"Umm, okay, now I have two questions: one: what's your name and two: is there somewhere I can hide?"

"My name is Sasori and I have no place to hide you, but if you're running from Hidan, he was probably already dragged away Kakuzu." he replied curtly, going back to working on whatever he was working on.

"Umm, Is Hidan that silver haired guy?" I ask, "Also do you know why he charged at me?"

"Yes and, he probably heard you yelling and thought you were talking about him." He said with a voice that could curdle milk.

"Why are you so mad at me?" I ask, hoping to get an answer.

"I'm not 'a lump' anymore?" he replied dryly.

"Wait, that lump was YOU?" I say, completely shocked.

"Yes, I was in my puppet," he says looking up.

"Oh. Well I'm really sorry," I said now regretting the fact that the name didn't register in my mind.

He remained silent. So I left.


End file.
